My Pop

I miss this old man.  Love you Dad.

You were so sad. I hope and pray that you have found your happy place Daddy  <3

WHO AM I

THE REAL VIEW:  WHO AM I?  

Daughter, sister, lover, wife, mother, friend & sometimes just me __that's who I am today.  I am also a bit pushy and sometimes very nosey so I try to control situations or understand them by controlling them.  I am proud and I love and I care.  I am scared and fearful of the rest of my life.  I am a dreamer of dreams and a doer of nothing.  I constantly analyze and try to list or find out why?  What if?  But why would that person do that or why would they want to?  I like to sleep so I can dream about it cause I can't do it in my wake time.  I like to decorate and remodel and I watch house hunter International because I dream of travel.  I am scared of traveling and fearful of different.  I embrace difference and respect it.  I pray every day for tolerance but don't believe in religion.  I am a dedicated individual wanting world peace.  I wish people truly treated each other like they would like to be treated__that is a religion I could support.  It is midnight and I am pretty sure I will turn into a pumpkin.  Good night

Free Tarot Card Reading....

My question is about my current place of residence and if it is permanent or not? Thank you <3

Sure <3

Knight of Pentacles

I don’t feel like its permanent. I feel like right now, you’re on the start of a long journey, and this current place is a place for you to stop, rest, get back on your feet, get some supplies and keep moving. There are other things out there for you, so don’t fall into the trap of being comfortable over getting what you really want in life.

I hope I was accurate and helped you! If you get a chance, please leave feedback and for a more in depth reading add me on skype (- littlelioness3 :) or for another short reading please feel free to message me again!  

We just bought this place so I hope ur reading that knight differently than I would have. I just pulled out my cards_haven't done so in years. DEATH fell out of the deck twice. Something is a muck. Good thing I'm good with change. Tired of the roller coaster needing to get on the merry-go-round.

I don’t see it as a bad thing for you right now! I feel like you have bigger and better places to be, I feel like it will be semi-permanent but like I said I feel like this is more of a stepping stone for you, as you are destined for bigger things. :)

Ya Never KNOW!  

Santa Anna Winds

Once again the wind is howling outside and all the bumps and noises are going to keep me awake.  At least this time out there are no one hundred fifty foot trees threatening to fall on my house.  In Oregon we called them easterlies and it was crazy wild with the fir trees in back of the house.  The worst part were the twelve sky lights allowing me to see straight up.  On the nights when the moon was full everything would be lit and the fighting shadows would make it impossible to sleep.
Here in southern California we call them the "Santa Anna" winds and they are howling right now.

I saw the movie, The Holiday and in that movie the actor Jack Black mentions that, "anything can happen during the Santa Anna winds".  I honestly had never heard that before and I have lived her most my life, however, today it feels different.  Perhaps cause I am back on that damn roller coaster ride!  My daughter has begun her life in another city with her boy friend and her new job.  It is my husband that isn't comfortable with his present employment.  It was supposed to be my son's turn. I am supposed to working with him to find a local job, his first.  I can't even concentrate on the poor kid. Everything is up in the air blowing around like the wind.

Do we get to stay here in our new home?

Dad's Room

Sitting in my father's room which has been almost stripped of his personal belongings.  Dad isn't here and I doubt he'd notice being that he died twenty days ago.  It feels like an untruth and at the same time it feels like it could have possibly happened a long long time ago.  I pulled up the calendar to count the days and I am a little taken a back that it has only been twenty days.  

Today we went around to the different financial establishments passing out death certificates like they were Halloween candy.  The transition is almost complete; his name is systematically being removed from all that was his.  It just isn't any longer.  

I am just sitting here in the dark on his bed hoping that he is being held and being told what a good person he is and how he is loved by so many.  I picture him in white light, warm and smiling.  I love you dad <3

My Plan

I have a plan and the plan is to make money

Yep, that is my plan and for some really strange reason I believe it will work. I am going to write a book about how to acquire a job __my way.  It is an unconventional yet modern way to get a job and I have seen it work. I have gotten my husband a job (several times) and I have recently gotten my daughter a job.  I know my methods work and I know that I could promote it IF I can get it all written down.  

SO that is the plan!  I will get my wonderfully talented daughter to do my cover art and I will come up with some snappy title about an unconventional job search or rules or something.  I will have to think about this.  Any suggestions anyone?

My market will be newly graduated college kids so I need "hip".  I definitely have to put some thought into this.

This is my plan since I was successful getting my daughter a job in San Francisco of all places, I have lots of time on my hands. I mean I do have one more project, our son, but I just woke up and knew this is what i must do, write!  Yes, I must write!

Write On

My mum on her sister's Harley outside Grandma's house in Redondo Beach California.  SO cool.  

October, 2012 I lost my father and sent my daughter away to be an adult.  The economy has turned an ugly eye on the middle class american so here we sit in our new home.  Our new home that we can't even remodel like we would like.  It would at least be nice to have furniture, new windows, a roof!

I have so many dreams about a book I am supposed to write and I spend a lot of time considering topics but nothing has hit me in the head as of yet.  There must be something I can do to drum up a few dollars. Tis a mystery, yes. 

I am just physically tired __I would love to pour out my emotion but I don't think there is anything there to pour.

Maybe later.  

click click click ... the roller coaster is climbing

Wow, what a ride this has been; the ups, the downs, the hair raising turns, this roller coaster is an amazing!  I want off!  I am physically and emotionally drained and I just want to quit this ride and find something else to do.